A few days ago I came across a post on #gayswithstories which is an Instagram account that I have been following for a few weeks now. It shares images and stories of gay couples around the globe, so pretty harmless in the scheme of things. Some of these couples have kids and some don’t.
What has got my nickers in a knot though is this photo (I did originally embed the post but wanted to get permission first). Now it’s not the two topless guys and a little one that’s the issue, if I had those bodies I would take the same photo. What really wound me up was the contents of the photo description. The guys in the photo reference receiving comments from other Instagrammers suggesting they are sexualising their daughter by taking photos and posting them online. Really, sexualising their daughter?
It’s a cute flipping photo of their toddler and her dads having a snuggle in bed which they carefully chose to share. Last time I checked that certainly wasn’t sexualising your daughter, that was a special Daddy daughter moment. Like the guys say in their text, they think long and hard before posting images like this, as do we (admittedly ours are more keg shots than 6 pack shots).
A few weeks ago I posted a video of Verity (#VerityEats) eating her spaghetti with no top on. There is nothing sexual about it, it’s a 4 year old being hilarious while eating spaghetti with a tiara and sunglasses on. It’s nothing to do with being topless. I’m guessing most people wouldn’t even notice she is topless but I must admit I was a little concerned what feedback I would get. I didn’t get much which was good.
Obviously as we progress closer to Verity and Delilah’s 5th birthday videos where the girls are running around topless playing will probably stop. Just like bath photos stopped years ago etc. There comes a time when it’s not really appropriate but two topless Dads with their adorable daughter snuggling is so not sexualising their daughter. If I ever have a 6 pack I’ll be taking those photos until the twins stop me (will be more about the miracle of me having a 6 pack than the girls though).
I don’t know why but this really wound me up. Those moments are so very special and very much on a short time frame. By the time our little ones are 5 or 6 these moments become few and far between, if not gone all together. Shouldn’t we embrace them while we can? I appreciate everyone’s opinions differ on what should and shouldn’t be posted on social media especially when kids are involved but photos like this are pretty harmless and they are portraying nothing more than a family spending a moment together. Yes Dad is topless but there’s nothing in that. If the same photo had been taken on holiday at the beach would you get the same comments, probably not.
Sorry started ranting again!
Do some people think this because they/we are gay dads? I’m not sure the same people would think it if we were straight dads. I have no idea if these particular comments were from gay or straight people, male or female but I do wonder.
Now that I’ve had my rant, Delilah is sleeping next to me and I’m going to go and have a cuddle. Embrace it while I can, as before I know it she won’t want to snuggle with Daddy anymore.