Published July 31, 2014 | By Greg Hodgson-Fopp
So we’re here in San Diego, and everything is in a holding pattern while we wait for the arrival of the kids.
We got to spend a big chunk of yesterday with Natasha, which was great! It’s probably my only regret about doing this thing in America, is that it’s so far we didn’t get to spend more time with her, actually. Don’t get me wrong – America is absolutely the right place to do Surrogacy with international laws how they are. It’s the only safe place where legality and medical science are both at the peak of their game. It’s just that it’s so far from Switzerland that we weren’t able to pop over as often as we’d have liked to.
It was really good getting to spend yesterday with her, and I’m looking forward to the month that we have here this time. It’ll be a crazy month, that’s for sure, and being able to have my family here and Matt’s family here as well is going to make it particularly special. I am very happy that Natasha will get to meet my Brother and see that, while craziness clearly runs in the family, there is also a dose of healthy pragmatism in the Hodgson genes as well.
I said it yesterday, I’ll say it again – we are so lucky to have been matched so well.
The twins were last scanned about 2 weeks ago, at which point their estimated sizes were 6lb 14oz (3.1kg) and 5lb 14oz (2.7kg). This is a good healthy size, and we’re optimistic for them to burst onto the world stage with a big healthy wail and a flailing limbs. Perhaps already breaking into dance, even.
It’s currently Thursday, and today we have a whole battery of medical appointments to attend with Natasha, which may see some movement if the specialists decide that they’d like to change the time-table. If they don’t, then we have just 48 hours until the scheduled delivery.
So, one way or another, within 48 hours we will be parents, and the next step of this amazing journey starts.
We think we’re ready. Logistically at least.
We’re certainly logistically ready. Matt has been the master of organisation of things like buggies, diaper/nappies, wipes, creams, cots, carriers, clothes, pacifiers, formula and more. We’ve luckily worked out what name our Swiss formula milk (Aptamil) is sold as here in America, so that’s one thing less to worry about – they’ll be able to drink the same formula either side of the Atlantic. We’re about to go to our 5th Walmart in 24 hours to finally pick up the second travel system – since we decided that we were unhappy with the one provided by the hire-car company. It does mean one more ludicrously large thing to bring home to Zurich, but it removes hassles in other ways, so that’s hopefully worth it.
Emotionally? No idea.
It’s hard to describe how I’ve been feeling over the last week or so. I had a moment of giddy excitement when we got the call from San Diego last Friday that told us we should come over early. That had me smiling like an idiot for a few hours. I was literally drumming the table in excitement that it was finally happening. About a day later, I had my “Oh my god, what have we done” melt down.
I feel bad admitting that. I feel like it marks me as a bad parent, or as selfish. To admit that I sat on our balcony and sobbed hysterically for a bit because I wasn’t sure that we were cut out to be good parents, and worried that we’d end up ruining these otherwise perfect little creatures that we’re going to be entrusted with for the next 20 years and longer. It was cathartic, it was necessary and it was over by the time our friends arrived to cheer me up.
So now we’re here and we’re waiting to see what the day holds.
This will probably be my last post before parenthood.
*starts tapping the table in excitement again*